Life is a process of continuous transformation. With age, life experience, role transformation, and social situation, everyone forms a unique lifestyle.
Each generation has found the "become" they agree with in their lives under different growth backgrounds. During the Youth League, we must also face the support of the next generation and the care of seniors, and play the role of care and acceptance of children.
At work, the Chinese generation cannot retire. At the same time, they are responsible for the adjustment of their jobs, families, and even self-adjustment. What they have to face is really a huge challenge.
Forty confused? Looking at yourself againWhen life comes to this stage, the burdens of the layers are intertwined, and forward is the piles of life, and later on is the situation in the second half of life.
Wealth and fame seem to be unable to fill the empty space of the inner soul. After deciding, I realized that the journey of life has reached this stage, which can be said to be the most surprising stage, but it is also enough to bear it because of past practice.
At this time, I have developed a attitude from the perspective of being more or less able to understand the ups and downs of life. Is this attitude "not confused when I have forty"? Maybe it’s not, but it’s just that I only start to understand what “confusion” is when I’m forty, and then I start to realize that I still have so many doubts, I have never thought about it seriously, and I can’t deeply feel the feeling of being with me.
If you ask a child who just learned to be a tits, "Are you beautiful?"
He will reply, "Beautiful!"
You ask again, "Is it good?"
He will reply, "Okay!"
When a child grows up to a teenager, he has his own ideas and no longer lets you play with, and it is easy to sing and remark. Then he enters society and starts working in the age of 20 or 30, slowly feels his responsibilities, and starts to set his ideas, learns to set his future goals, work as soon as he works, and fight as soon as he wants. In the midst of mediocrity, quickly accumulate life experience and live your own lifestyle.
We often say that after the age of forty, we begin to enter the second half of our life. Whether it is the "not confused" of life or the "confusion" of self-value, it is a starting point for re-examination.
At this time, we begin to ask questions about the value and meaning of life. So, at this time, it is actually a good opportunity to use a visual perspective to see the self that has been shaped and cultivated in the context of time and space in the past. What are the things that I cherish and what are the memories I want to remove or change?
If you follow the goals set in the past, is it still what you want? When will "change" appear in your heart? Will it be your choice? If so, do you have the ability to change?
Many people choose to turn the track when they are middle-aged. That kind of determination should be the result of a careful consideration, unlike the unrestrained worldly affairs, recklessness or curious exploration when they are young.
The so-called "not confused" must have been revealed, including what I want, what I can, and what I care about. The whole process is the exploration and dialogue of "finding myself".
often at this stage, you will look back at the time of your youth, reorganize or view and correct it. In short, you can find your own answer again in the "question" of your own dialogue.
Some people will find the interest they develop after middle age, including the passion, persistence, or belief in setbacks when they are young, because this integrates his story, hard work, experience and connotation.
After entering the forty stage, you have to solve your own doubts firstJian An is a nurse, working rounds, and scheduling on the day shift, small and big nights makes her life rhythm unable to be like an ordinary office worker.
On the weekend, my friend invited me to go out for a trip. She was either on duty or just having to sleep after a night. Her life became more and more homeless, and she felt that she was getting farther and farther away from everyone. She even doubted that the meaning of work was not to destroy her life?
By chance, she bought several mini lazuli in the flower market, which did not occupy space and just hung by the window. Gradually, Jun An found that he was very interested in taking care of flowers and plants. He liked the expectation of waiting for flowers to sprout along the season. He also began to have more understanding of plant species. He also joined the discussion group of the online community to find a sense of personality that suits him.
The accumulation of interest depends on time. Every year, it is the most anticipated season for you, because you can share your cultivation results, and realize your sense of accomplishment in life through potted plants and stick to your heart.
After a few years, although I can't be called an expert, I don't think I'm an ally, and I'm not overestimated by all kinds of characteristics, such as Zhu Jiazhen. Looking back at the beginning, I found an exit from the empty space of life, and then found myself through my interest. The experience of changing is also a story of myself.
The burdens of middle-aged generations are very heavy, but because of this, there is a chance to use this machine to reorganize and think, and then find out what you want.
Therefore, when you start with "not confused" at "forty-year-old" you must first go through the previous stage of "confusion" and ask yourself many questions before you can reach the "not confused" at the back.
Then you will understand why these things become your treasure in the process of talking to yourself? I also picked up many stories that I had forgotten in the past and uncovered my questions..
Ask about life, don't rush to find answersCan you find answers to the doubts about life? If you can't solve your own questions slowly, then will you bear more troubles and make me feel sorry for yourself?
In fact, we can regard the process of self-exploration as a companionship and dialogue of life, that is, as a habit and process, rather than setting the goal to "get conclusion".
When you can't get an answer for a while, you have many ways to do it. Asking questions in your life may not necessarily find the answer immediately. Therefore, don't let yourself get into a dead end. We often describe the question of life on oneself, like the grain of sand in the shell, which always hurts you. Although we have no way to deal with it, it also prompts us to understand ourselves better.
Many self-exploration or course topics do not have to be processed immediately after seeing them.
Sometimes you first understand the past injustices or conflicts, and then wait for the appropriate time to take action, because it may still involve others. At this time, you are ready, but the other party may not be ready. You think you want to deal with it, but the time is not just ready, so just do it!
Sometimes it will naturally generate the power of solution when it is appropriate, and it will come naturally.
Just like a friend of mine shared with me the thoughts that had been slapping for twenty years, finally twenty years later, she found her ex-boyfriend and explained each other clearly the unpleasantness of the breakup that year.
I asked in confusion: "But in these twenty years, have you been having a happy and happy life?"
She said, "Yes, but I always feel that I have come to this stage in my life, and there are some things I still want to clear out." To my friends, this process is like a "stage". Only after completion can you really let go and treat it as an interlude, so that you can continue to move forward and no longer worry.
Of course, maybe things are left like this and will not affect her, but I always feel that it is a little bit short of it.
Because of the international meeting, she and her ex-boyfriend added friends to each other in the Internet community, so my friend thought this was an opportunity to reorganize the process of that year.
For her, she has always seen herself lacking courage in that year, and many years later, she has become more powerful than that year, and can bravely accept the impact and doubts of that year.
Regardless of the end, it is a completion for her. Perhaps the answer is not the point, but the timidity of her escape that year and the pain of not wanting to touch her. Perhaps over the years, she may have a lot of resentment or confusion, but thinking about her now, she is also very happy and beautiful.
Recalling the past with the current perspective can give yourself a hug, give you a few years of suffering and cherish, use your own strength to take care of your mood, and also witness your growth.
Don’t panic when you are alone. Stabilize practice◎Create your own "Life Line"
This little practice will take you back to the path of life of your personal attention.
In the coordinates on the next page, the axis is time, that is, from birth to the present, some people will hear their family stories before they are born, and they will also become part of themselves. If that part has a deep meaning for you, you can also set your time forward until you are ○ years old.
Then, the axis is designed as the mood of the event in life experience. When the ups and downs are the main information that the main view directly reflects the flow of one's own life. Therefore, by drawing one's own "lifeline", you can roughly organize your own life experience.
After drawing the lifeline, we can mark the events that affect us at that time one by one in each turn or ups and downs. In the event, there will be people, things, things, and feelings that we have experienced, and we can all be recorded together.
Then, calmly give yourself a period of time to review and reorganize the emotions that were reflected.
Re-look at yourself, what do you want to say to yourself? Write it down one by one now.
※This article is excerpted from Boss Zhiku's "Being with Yourself: Retrieving the Stable Power of No Tightness"
